Scrolling on my Instagram explore page, I often come across one section, that I think most people know what I’m referencing, which mainly consists of beauty gurus or aspiring MUAs doing their makeup. Makeup isn’t the problem, it’s a form of self expression and fun to mess around with. The truth is none of it’s realistic or attainable. The standard of beauty for society has grown to an exponentially unhealthy rate for our self images. Like myself, I know many people can have a difficult time with seeing things like such and not have it lingering on our minds. Now, I’m not discrediting what they do, I think their makeup is really amazing and they show a lot of skill that takes so much practice to attain. I do however used to always think, “I’m not pretty enough”, “I’m not skinny enough”, and “I’m not good enough”. These are all things I’ve said to myself too many times to count. As time went on, I suddenly realized I don’t give a fuck; not that I’ve given up on myself but that I now know I am good enough.
We’re constantly seeking validation from others whatever the case may be. When it comes to relationships in particular, that is when we’re seeking the most validation. A lot of us think if we’re not good enough on our own, that just maybe someone will eventually come around and give us that validation we want. Although we convince ourselves that’s perfectly good reasoning, it’s not. If you’re not comfortable with yourself first, how’re you going to be comfortable being with someone at all? Feeling insecure and self conscious when you’re in a relationship with someone that really loves you does make you feel good about yourself. Despite the fact, you typically wouldn’t realize you’re leeching onto another person and using them for that happiness. Everyone should be able to feel happy with themselves and find that self validation that I did.
The belief that we need validation outside of self, isn’t true. We say we need validation outside of self to feel worthy, then we’ll keep that belief for the rest of our lives. How can we feel happy when you’re living for this payoff that you can’t control yourself? You can’t. Replace that negative thought with: “I don’t need validation from anyone.” Always thinking you need validation from other people is an illusion of the brain. When you’re without that other person always being by your side, you feel insecure again and you’ll be stuck in the never ending cycle of self hate because it’ll become a recurring pattern. You’ll be trying even harder to get that validation trying to please that person. You certainly can’t please everyone and that’s just fine. Working on yourself and I know it may seem difficult at times, is a process. Take time to realize that you’re good enough. You don’t need anybody to make you feel validated, because simply that’s the absolute truth.
So this month, when everything’s about love, think a little less about how much you love what others are doing, and more about loving all the great things about you.