About a month ago I was given a big ass book in English and it’s due tomorrow (quiz was hinted at) and all I’ve read is one chapter. Now I’m stuck resorting to columns like this. Please please, any advice?

I feel you hard. It’s nothing against reading…reading is actually quite enjoyable. But you put the word “school” next to it, and it becomes a whole new monster. Now let me be straight with you. You are screwed. There is no point in denying it. Accepting this though is going to make it a hell of a lot easier.

Every kid has spent a day in which all they do is panic about how they did not do some kind of homework. Panicking and panicking and not doing it. So my advice for you? Take a deep breath, read the book on Sparknotes. Read the book on Shmoop. Hell you can read the book on Cliff Notes too. But once you’ve done that, stop. Don’t frantically ask everyone in your class to summarize it for you. Do not spend all day blaming yourself for putting yourself in this position. Yeah, it’s your fault but seriously what is the point in agonizing over it? Will this really matter in ten years? Will it really matter in one? Take it down and notch and you know what the takeaway is from this? You’re probably going to read the next book. You should read the next book. Avoid. Panic. But chances are you won’t. If you’re not going to read the next one though, then please do not come complaining to me about it. You’re on your own for that one, homie.

Editor’s Note: I didn’t read Emma OR Wuthering Heights and I’m fine. Honestly, F-I-N-E. 


My boyfriend and my best friend hate each other. But I love both of them and I am not willing to throw away either relationship for the other. What do I do?!!

Hahaha yikes what a dilemma. Obviously I am missing a lot of context, but here is what I would do. Actually here is what I wouldn’t do…Do not force a friendship. If these people really hate each other then pushing them closer is only going to give them a mutual hatred for you, and you do not want that. You need to have an honest conversation with both of them and tell them what you just told me. “I love you, and I love them. I will not choose between you two.”

If this is a problem for either of them, then that’s a sign in itself. If you’re not willing to throw out the relationship then neither should they. As for awkward things like seeing one when you’re with the other in the hallway, or deciding who to hang out with when both are free, you’ve got to grit your teeth and divide your time. “Well yesterday and the day before I walked with him, so today I’ll meet her. And if I leave a minute early we shouldn’t run into each other.” It also might help to lighten the mood with each of them and crack some jokes about the feud. You don’t want it to become an untouchable topic. You should acknowledge it as much as you can so it doesn’t become unbearably awkward. Like maybe when he asks what you’re doing after school you invite him to come with you two to get ice cream and throw in some emojis with their tongue out. Haha very funny. One of those types of jokes.

Tread lightly here though. Every situation is different and if either of them are extra sensitive to the issue this could backfire and take you into no man’s land. A place where periods (.) and caps lock are found. If that happens, you can always blame it on how this situations is so difficult for you and confusing. “I’m sorry I went about this the wrong way, it is just so hard for me because I love you both so much.” Boom, done. Good luck,I do not envy you in this situation. But there are also children starving in Africa, so you can deal with it. xo

I’ve gotten into two amazing schools and I just have no idea how to decide. It’s the greatest problem to have, but it really isn’t easy. Any words of wisdom?

Not really no. That is the greatest problem to have, so shush. Remember I mentioned above there are kids starving in Africa?! You’re going to go to one of them so like why are you asking me this. What happens happens. Now go home and gloat on your own about how you rock so much!

HAHA just kidding I’m not that mean. But seriously there’s not much advice to give that you haven’t heard already. Go with your gut, when you know you’ll know. Congratulations and I wish you the best, my lightly burdened friend.


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